My Heart's Desire
by Tamelion
Summary: [Slash] Just when everything turns for the worst, our boys find something worth while to live for. LovE. Continued DrPy, DlJny. Possible DrSda CHP 5
1. The Beginning

Hey guys…. don't worry I am going to finish the others but for now I'm trying to write fics with parings that don't exist. For a fact Darry/ Ponyboy I think the love between them is deep. Maybe natural, but I tend to use my imagination. I also haven't come across Dally/Johnny's either. I mean Johnny was the only one that he really loved. Oh well here you go.

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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::( _My Heart's Desire _)::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

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Title: **_My Heart_

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Author: **_TameLion_

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Pairing: **_Darry/Ponyboy, Johnny/Dally_

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CHAPTER 1: **_I see clearly_

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Summery: **_Love has different meanings. Love is shared through Family, friends, and lovers. But what if your definition of love between brothers was changed? And what if it wasn't? Love is lost…love is found. _

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WARNING: **_THIS STORY CONAINS SLASH, INSENSE…. I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SLASH IS. IT IS WHEN STORIES OUT OF REAL BOOKS ARE WRITTEN & SWITCHED AROUND TO THE WRITERS SATISFACTION AND IT CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL CONTENT BETWEEN CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS BOY ON BOY ACTION BETWEEN CHARACTERS WHO USUALLY WOULDN'T. _

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DISCLAIMER: **_I don't own jack. I'm poor, broke…penniless so don't expect anything. And anyways I did put a warning on this and you made the choice to read it. Your fault. _

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CHAPTER 1**

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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::( _My Heart's Desire _)::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

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Our house hasn't been alive since I came back. Even though the gang acts as nothing bad had ever happened, I can see through their masks. I don't know how I learned to read people. Maybe it's the whole experience that matured me. At least I know that much. I watch them joke about their peers, the Socs…. etc. I am unable to join them.

I don't want to seem as if I'm putting myself up there, but all I can do right now is worry about Johnny. He has been one of my closets friends ever. Closer than Darry and I once were. That brings up another subject. The scene where I clang helplessly to him the first time I had seen him since the accident replayed in my mind over and over. I felt so guilty. Imagine how he must have felt. A month ago I wouldn't have even thought he cared.

I jolted in our leather couch as a hand landed itself on my shoulder. _Johnny? _No, It was Darry. He still had his Jacket from the Football team on, so I guess he just came from work.

" Hey kid, how come you ain't with they rest of them?" He motioned his head towards the dinner table. Nothing fancy, mind you. Us hoods aren't exactly rich.

I shrugged, by now they were use to my silence. " I don't feel like talking."

He dramatically sighed. Even though he had accepted the new me, he wanted me to be that same person I was before all the mishaps started. " Come on, " pulling me out of the chair by my hands, he led me into me and Soda's bedroom. " We need to talk. I mean **really** talk." The door was closed, so my escape route was blocked. He had already thought of that.

" Ok." It was more of a rasp. I don't like talking much about how I felt. It just made the feeling I've tried to suppress become too strong for me to hold. He patted the spot next to him on my twin bed. Suddenly the air around me grew tense. I took the seat unwillingly.

Of course he noticed. " Don't worry about anything. I won't ask anything that will offend you. I just want to see if you're ok. Are you?" He scooted closer to me and rubbed my sagged shoulders. Does he have to be so affectionate?

" I'm fine. Just worried about Johnny… and Dally. " The words didn't seem to have an effect on me yet. My older brother stared at me. I was growing accustomed to that stare. I wonder what is going on through his Icy Blue eyes. He is the only person I can't figure out. Coincidence? No. I had not even bothered to get to know him more after our parents died. The more I know about someone the better they are to read. Isn't that a sad fact? He's my brother for Christ sake.

I rested my head on his shoulder. I was at least making an effort to act more like a brother towards him then I did in the past. He pulled me into I hug. I was shocked at first. Things were progressing faster than I thought between he and I. I settle into his arms, surprisingly I felt safer than normal. I guess this is my new solitude. I also noticed his hard toned muscle again my chest. They were hard and chiseled. Lucky him, those muscles made him look hard and tough. I have lost that already. Since Johnny cut my hair and bleached it. I choked back a sob at the mention of him.

Darry suddenly pulled back. " You ok kid?" He search my eyes. Without thinking I developed him in my arms and pressed my face against his chest. I let out a sob or two. I lost track of time. Darry rubbed my back reassuringly. Even though this was what I was trying to hold back, it felt good to release it. By the time I had finished I was asleep in my bed. Darry was there….holding me in his sleep……

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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: At the Hospital :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 

**(Dally's POV)**

He was still asleep by the time the doctors finally let me see him. He is bad shape, real bad shape. Why'd you have to do it Johnny. You wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't looked out for you more. I knew blaming myself wasn't going to solve the problem, but it did assure the responsibility I had.

I have been sitting here for hours, I'm surprised the Nurse hadn't come in here to usher me away. I leaned forward and brush off a lingering strand of hair .Even in his sleep he is Majestic.

I'm worried even more about him since his parents will be coming here. Don't get your hopes up, they don't give a shit about. At the moment the gang and me are his only family. My restlessness was getting the better of me. I stood up and paced around the room. What if he doesn't make it. How can I live without him? No, I shook my head. He won't die .If someone who could live through 16 years of abuse can survive this.

Climbing in the bed , I got under the covers and snuggled up close to him. I don't care if the nurses found me like this. I've been through to much to care about anything else. All I know is that the one person who I love is at a dying stake. And I'll do anything to keep him alive.

Snaking my arms around his body and grasped his limp hand and clutched it tightly. Leaning my weight forward I pressed a light kiss on his lips and slumped back into the hospital beds. No sooner than I hit the pillow did I fall asleep.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: _**To be continued**_:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

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Well that's m y first chapter .Did you guys like it? I mean I had no plan but I must admit it did come out well. I'm not in the mood for doing 3,000 words today. So I'll just do a short chapter for now .R& R 


	2. If Only

Wow 5 new Reviews, I didn't expect them to come so fast. Oh well I guess you guys liked it. That's good. Anyways, I'll try to write more in this chapter, I just have to think of what first. But I got some pretty good idea's. I though I put it in the RATED-R section. Woops. Well it will be there. R&R

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Title: **_My Heart's Desire_

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Author: **_TameLion_

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Pairings: **_Darry/Ponyboy, Johnny/Dally_

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CHAPTER 2: **_If Only…_

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Summary: **_Love has different meanings. Love is shared through Family, friends, and lovers. But what if your definition of love between brothers changed. And what if it wasn't? Love is lost…love is found. D/P, DL/J_

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WARNING: **_THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH, INCEST…I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SLASH IS, IT IS WHEN STORIED OUT OF REAL BOOKS ARE WRITTEN & SWITCHED AROUND TO THE WRITERS SATISFACTION AND IT CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL CONTENT BETWEEN CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS BOY ON BOY ACTION BETWEEN CHARACTERS WHO NORMALLY WOULDN'T._

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DISCLAIMER: **_I don't own jack. I'm poor, broke…penniless, so don't expect anything. And anyways I did put a warning in this and you made the choice to read it. Your fault._

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CHAPTER 2**

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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: _My Heart's Desire _:::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

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He's so peaceful when he's asleep. I wish he was like this when he's conscious of his surroundings. Poor kid. He shifted in the wooden chair by the bed and ran his fingers through Pony's short hair.

He peered at the short blond hair. _He's kinda cute with blonde hair. I have to thank Johnny some time. Speaking of Johnny, I think I should go visit him. _Pulling the covers over his brother's shoulders he exited the room and quietly shut the door behind him. He could see the kitchen light on, probably Soda having breakfast.

" Is that you Darry?" Soda's voice carried its way from the kitchen.

" Yea. I'm off of work today, so I'm just going out for a while." He pulled on his jacket and opened the front door. Just as he passed through the door he heard a muffled voice from the kitchen.

" Alright. I'll wake up Pony later then."

He climbed into the driver seat of his old broken-down truck, inserted his car key and switched the engine on. They engine flared up with a roar, he backed out of the driveway and started out onto the street.

It wasn't a long ride. The Hospital was just about 10 minutes away. Pulling up into the visitor parking area, he stepped out of the car and entered the building. He cringed as the hospital smell hit his nose. Checking himself in as a visitor he headed up the stairs and into the room where Johnny was kept. I need to visit Dally too. He opened the door and quickly shut it behind him. The lights were off so he guessed Johnny was asleep.

While he worked the blinds open, the hidden bed behind the curtains started to move. Walking over to the bed, he pulled back the curtains and gasped. Dally lay entwined with Johnny in the small hospital bed. He promptly pulled the curtains back. Feeling like he interrupted a special moment between the two, he closed behind and walked out the door.

Down the hall he spotted Johnny's parents once again trying to see their son. I don't know why they bother. I've already gotten the idea that they don't care about him." Looking straight at his feet, he quickly walked past the arguing couple without being detected and out of the building. By the time he had made it back, Pony was still in bed. Never trust Soda with chores.

Sighing, he took his t-shirt off and flopped on the couch. Nothing good was on the TV, so he decided to take a nap.

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**(Pony's POV)**

He searched his bed for the familiar feeling. Nothing. That's what his felt. He missed the familiar feeling of warm arms around him, the other body that was snuggled up close to him, the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling air. Most of all, Darry.

Pulling back the covers, he stared about his room groggily. His morning had not started off well. Not knowing that it was already noon. As he entered the living room, the sight of his brother shirtless and asleep on the couch stopped him in his mid-step.

He eyes lingered from the red lips, to the taught pink nipples that lay on his chiseled chest. He unconsciously licked his lips. It seems as no one else in the house. Soda probably went out with the gang.

Inhaling sharply, he slid under the blanket that covered his half-naked brother and

And buried his face at the crook of his neck. Not even ten minutes did he feel Darry's arms enclose around him.

" Darry?" He peered up at his brother's icy blue eyes.

" Yes?" He had a look in his eyes that Pony couldn't identify.

" Um…. I…. I…." Darry just smiled and stroked his hair.

" It's alright Pony, I understand." He shifted in the chair and noted the hardness pressed against his leg. " Pony…. what's that?" There was a tense silence.

" I'm sorry…" He jumped back and slammed the door of his room as he entered it. Sighing once more, Darry got up from the couch and knocked on Pony's Door.

On the other side, Pony lay in his bed with his eyes clenched shut. He knew his secret. He knew.

" Pony I'm coming in not matter what you say." And he did, the door was opened and closed quietly.

" Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

" No." Pony under his covers. " Yes. I'm sorry I couldn't help it .Its just that…. I like guys and you reminded me of a guy I met once." He lied through his teeth. There was no guy. He was gay, but hadn't met a guy ever whom he was attracted to.

" Oh. " Pony almost though he caught a bit of disappointment as he said it. " Its alright. Maybe you should take care of that…" He motioned.

Pony's cheek blazed red. " I…I don't know how. " He stared at his lap nervously.

" Alright, I'm only doing this once. Go to the bathroom now. I'll be there in a sec." With a nod he watched Pony head towards the bathroom. Just a few second later he locked the front door and returned to the bedroom.

He locked the bathroom door and leaned against the closed door. His brother looked so innocent sitting on the toilet seat. " Come here." He tried to repress the urge to attack his brother right on the stop. Pony walked up to him nervously. His arousal still erect. " Alright, umm…. You have to trust me on this one. Undress and get into the tub." He turned his back and checked the door. Also to give his brother more time to undress.

Waiting several more minutes, he twisted around and was awarded by the site of his little brother in the tub, naked. Gulping, he crouched down at the outside of the tub and leaned forward. " You have to trust me and…and close you eyes. That might help." Pony nodded before applying. Smiling to himself, Darry put the clog on the tub and turned on the water. As soon as the temperature was set, he took the soap from the hanger and poured a small portion of it in his palm. Rubbing both hands together to create a soapy substance. When he was done, he turned of the water and gave Pony one more glance.

Sighing quietly, he placed his hands on his brother's stomach and trailed it down past his thighs till his hand was right above his arousal. The soap smeared were ever his hand moved to. He made sure that he avoided touching his cock till Pony thrust his hips slightly.

" Be patient." He murmured. For a couple of minutes he moved around his brother's arousal, then he put his torturing to a halt. For gazed at his brother's facial expression, it held a slight twist of bliss and irritation.

Pony peered through his damp eyes, Why had he stopped? he thought to himself. " Darry?" a quiver of uncertainness in his voice.

" Sorry, Pony. I just wanted to know if you wanted me to go on?" He felt reluctant to continue their activity. If by a miracle he would make it out of the bathroom without Pony noticing his growing erection, then he'd likely continue.

" Please…." He whispered it. Pony relaxed when Darry smiled at him reassuringly and closed his eyes with two fingers.

Holding Pony's arousal by both his hands, he stroked in and up and down motion. Each stroke, Pony let out a little squeal, but they were suppressed as he pressed his lips together. Not even a minute later, Pony let out a small cry and released his seed into Darry's hands.

Once more, Darry turned the water on and switched it to shower. He pulled Pony onto his feet and pulled his back a few feet from the sprays of water. " Are you able to stand?"

" Yes." Just as Darry was releasing him, he noticed the bulge similar to the one he just had. " Darry…. um thank you. I just…would you like to take a shower with me?"

Looking down at his paints, a slight hinge of red on his cheeks. Understanding he nodded. " Ok." He striped his clothes off and climbed into the tub with his little brother.

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He felt so warm. So safe. He blinked. There was someone beside him. He eyes open with a start and looked around wildly.

" Calm down Johnny, Its just me." That was Dally voice. What is he doing in my bed? But he didn't care; he just didn't want to be alone right now. He shifted in the bed and moved closer to Dally.

" Are the others ok?" he sounded so weak.

" Yes Pony's just fine. Kid, be quite, save up your strength." Johnny knew that there was no need to. He was dying. Not at the moment, but his time would come soon. But he went along with it.

" Promise me you won't do anything stupid if something happens to me."

He winced as dally clutched his arms and drew him closer. " DON'T THINK LIKE THAT!!. Nothing is going to happen to y-" He stopped mid in his sentence as he stared at the pained expression on Johnny's face. " I'm sorry. I just don't want to…lose you I guess." Wrapping his arms around Johnny, he placed a kiss on Johnny's cheek. But when he pulled back, the other boy leaned forward and placed a light peck on his lips.

" Johnny!" He sputtered. He was caught off guard by it.

" I'm just returning the Goodnight kiss you gave me last night." He smiled for the first time in 3 weeks.

" You were awake? Why didn't you tell m-…" Before he could finish his sentence, Johnny pulled him into a heated kiss. Sure he had had a few flings here and there, kissing was involved, but there were nothing like this. When they broke apart, both were inhaling and exhaling sharply.

" Promise me this, even though I am paralyzed from my legs and down, I want you to make love to me. That's my last wish." They was a nervous silence.

" Alright. I will." And with that he said no more. They held each other for a while till the Doctor came in and ushered Dally away.

" I'll see you later." He called out before he disappeared through the doorway.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::: **To Be Continued**…:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

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And there are people to thank to**

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To Jysk – A girl or boy many words. **

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To Maddy- thank you for putting my story on the favorite list.**

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To Mrs.HoldenCaulfield- I'm not too sure what I will do with Soda yet,**

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But don't worry I'll find out soon.**

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To Angelina Grace – Well I'll add a litte more Johnny/Dally. Just wait for the NC-17 part at **

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To Jenna – Um hmm… I might just give a hint of Soda/Darry or **

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Soda/Pony**

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To Jaded-sky – Yes I'm going to do that. I thought I did. Thank you for the reminder. **

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To The ice Duchess- Thank you. I know I wish there were a lot more of a lot of pairings. Like for the anime's Inuyasha and Fushigi Yuugi, More fics with Inuyasha and his brother Sesshoumaru, and for F Y more Nuriko and Hotohori's without Nuriko dying, **

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To Leslee- Yup , I'm one to explore the relationship between brothers. I can't help me. **


	3. Tension

/**Author note**: Sorry for the huge delay, I was really busy. I will consider some of the suggestions and their all really good. I am kind of reluctant to kill off Johnny. If you think it's a good idea to kill him off or not please say so. I really need help on this one. Anyways I think things went a little to fast between Darry and Ponyboy, so I'm going to slow it down a bit and piss everyone off. ; , this is what happens when your too addicted to the internet. Ja ne . :**Author's Note/**

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Title:** _My Hearts Desire_

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Author**: _TameLion _

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Pairings:** _Darry/Ponyboy , Johnny/Dally _

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Summary**: _Love has different meanings. Love is shred through family, friends and lovers. But what if the definition of love between brothers changed and what if nothing had changed at all. Love is lost...love is found. _

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WARNING**: _THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH, INCEST...I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SLASH IS, IT IS WHEN STORIES OUT OF REAL BOOKS OR MOVIES ARE WRITTEN AND SWITCHED AROUND TO THE WRITERS SATISFACTION AND IT CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL CONTENT BETWEEN CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS TWO BOYS HAVING HOT MONKEY SEX!_

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DISCLAIMER**: _I don't own jack. I'm poor, broke...penniless, so don't expect anything. And if you do sue...the stare Don't even think about it. Plus, I did put a warning on this and you yet still read it. Nobody else fault but yours. . _

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Chapter 3** : Tension

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: My Hearts Desire : My Hearts Desire**

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A cloud of tension hung over the dinner table as they ate their meals. Mashed Potatoes, corn dogs and a small piece of cooked meat. Darry consciously reminded himself to go shopping the next day for groceries. Meanwhile on the other side of the table, Ponyboy's head cast a dim shadow over his plate. His fork nudges the potatoes disdainfully. It was one of the many foods he hated and then there was the other thing...

Earlier, he had done something unforgivable with his brother..._Its not as if I'll die or something. He was just helping._ He though to himself, but the truth was, he wished it to be more than that. Even though he tried his best to ignore it, his feelings for his older brother had taken a big U turn. Frowning slightly, he scooped up the lumpy potatoes and swallowed it. No one seemed to notice the curious looks Soda cast to each brother. Dinner had started 10 minutes ago and neither brother even attempted to start a conversation, better yet both refused to look at one another.

" So anyways Darry, how's Johnny?" his voice carried slightly in the small room, which caused both to look up suddenly from their meals.

" Oh, Johnny...I ...well I'm not sure. He seems to be doing okay." He briefly glanced across the table and caught his little brothers eyes. " But I'm not sure he's going to make it."

SLAM!

Both brothers averted their eyes to the other forgotten brother. He stood up stiffly, his knuckles turns pale and he shook in silent anger. " HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!" Pony shook uncontrollably. " Don't decide his death for him."he hissed and walked off in the other direction. Heavy foots steps could be heard. SLAM.

The silence was heavy in the living room. Darry stood up aburtly and headed for the bedrooms. A hand suddenly reached and halted him in his steps. Behind him Soda looked at him ruefully, but yet he still held a smile.

" Don't worry about it Darry, you have enough things to think about. Let me handle this. " Darry blinked. _No way..._ Soda only smiled in response and headed of towards the bedroom, with Darry's eyes following his every move. _Hmmm...something is up. _Sighing, he cleared the table and placed the dishes into the sink. He stood there in the kitchen silently wondering what the other two were talking about. After quickly rinsing off the plates, he grabbed his coat of the coach and headed out for a walk.

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: Bedroom : **

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(Ponyboy's POV)**

Ponyboy brooded to himself while lying on his stomach. He waited for Darry to come in after him, but no one came. His gut suddenly tightened. Johnny was not dying, Johnny had promised. But there was something else...the way he looked at Soda and didn't even lay an eye on him. Does he hate me? Many of questions whirled through his head, soon he forgot all about Johnny's Dilemma and selfishly though of his own. _I guess he regrets what happened today._ A tear slid down his cheek and was quickly followed by another and another.

Behind him, the door slid open and shut quietly, who ever it was sat on the end of his bed and said nothing. Usually Darry would rub his back for comfort, but this person did no such thing. Turning his head over his shoulder, his eyes met with Soda's. He blinked a couple of tears, Soda just sat there and stared straight ahead and waited. This was so confusing. Soda's never like this, Pony thought to himself slightly. Minutes passed by and no words were exchanged.

Soda's voice projected loudly in the bedroom. "This isn't only about Johnny is it?" It sounded more like a statement than a question to Ponyboy.

" What are you talking about?" He sat up and rubbed clear his eyes. " How can he say something like that! He knows that it was all my fault. " He choked slightly on his words but continued speaking anyways. " I mean what kind of brother would say something like that about your best friend. " He had his beds sheets in a tight grip, which turned his knuckles white.

Soda sat there silently and listened to his brother ranting. So it does have something to do to Darry. He wasn't as stupid when it came to family as everyone thought he was. Sure, he was a good student but that didn't mean what he flourished in, the others he lacked. Frowning slightly, he nodded and ruffles his little brothers hair. Something was nagging him about the whole situation. Like how Ponyboy looked at Darry with expecting looks...he practically depended on him now. It use to be him, but work has just gotten in the way.

Something had to have happened earlier. Because from what he knew, this morning both were fine, but it was only when he reached home slightly late from work did he notice the changes. Oh well. He shrugged it off and turned his attention to his brother who was staring at him.

"Soda, is something wrong?" He sounded slightly concerned, but knowing Soda he could take care of himself.

" Huh? Oh yea fine. Why don't you hit the hay alright? 'Night Pony." Soda once again ruffles his brothers blonde hair, winces slightly, and exits the room with a glare aimed at his back. He heard the bathroom door open and close, followed by rustling. Meanwhile, Darry was no where to be found and the table had already been cleared. Sighing the blonde sunk into the leather couch they one and clicked on the tv.

In the background he could here the shower going.

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(Johnny's POV)**

Johnny didn't say much after the nurses kicked Dally out of his room. Sighing, he looked moved his head slightly to the right and stared out of the open window. The dulling pain of his wounds kept him up at night and the nagging fact that he would die. Not that the alternative was much better. What good would he be if he could walk? Where was he suppose to go, back to his parents. He wince slightly at the idea. They still tried to see him, every day he could hear the yelling and bickering with the nurses outside his room.

He wondered how the nurses had put up with them, one day he actually asked one. She just said that the patients wishes had to be followed. Several thoughts came and gone, but then he stopped on one. Ponyboy. His _friend_ had not come to see him in a while. It hurt his feeling slightly that his friend was avoiding him. Only Darry, Soda and other boys from the gang came to see him...not Ponyboy.

He closed his eyes and tried to wave of the sadness that grew in him when Dally was not there. Many times he was told he had to be strong, but how long would this strength last? Sometimes he just felt he could handle it anymore and prayed for someone to end his mizerable life. Being confined in the bed for more than a month or two was getting to him. A slight longing for freedom. Free to walk where ever he wanted to go, to be able to laugh and smile again. Now there was nothing to laugh or smile about...except for his...his boyfriend.

A blush spread across his cheek. This was the first time he actually been out with someone. All the girls though he was a lost puppy, and he knew it for a fact. But he always had Dally, it just took a while to realize how much deeper his feeling went for the thug.

A couple of nurses walked into the room to check on him. " Dear how are you feeling?" Nurse Lu was like a mother he never had to him. She nagged and kept a watchful eye on him at all times. It was her he went to, to ask her to keep her parents from seeing him. " I know that boy was your friend hun, but he had to go home. But...next time he visits, tell him he can stay only 2 hours after visiting hours." She winked and walked into the room next door .

He smiled slight, but it faltered almost instantly followed by a rush of tears. It was just too much for him. Every day a person would come, he had to place this harden mask on. He yearned to express how he truly feel. He considered talking to Nurse Lu, but he didn't want to worry her. Fearing that going to his friends would be worse.

He sobbed silently and hoped to god that someone would save him from the place...or himself.

Darry lit up a cigarette and inhaled it slowly. He walked by houses he recognized, some where abandoned, some were the homes of his gang. But he didn't care. All that was on his mind was surprisingly not Ponyboy, but Soda. He just could figure out why Soda was acting that way today. Everything just seems like an Alternate Universe.

Then there was his relationship with Ponyboy, what he did today wasn't wrong. He was just helping his brother. Nothing more...at least that's what he convinced himself. Tossing the cigarette bud on the ground, he headed for the small park that was rarely played in. He remembered when they where young and their parents where still alive, how he use to take both Soda and Pony to the Park ever week and push them on the swings. He was still their bigger brother even now and that brought a smile on his lips.

He to a sharp corner and crossed the empty streets. It was 10 p.m., he highly doubted than anyone would be out at this time. Ever since Bob was killed, there have been more greasers being jumped. He swung the gate open and headed for the swings. Suddenly he noticed a dark figure sitting in one of the swings. The moment his foot touched the sand, the person jumped up startled and whirled around.

" Darry!"

His eyes narrowed as he attempted to recognize the man by the swings. " Dally? What are you doing here at this hour?" He went over to a vacant swing and sat down. Dally also followed suit.

"You still haven't answered my question..." He glanced at the other boy beside him. Some thing was not right. Dally always was full of life, but now he just stared off into space with vacant eyes.

" Johnny." It came out raspy...more like forced. He pushed of and swung slowly. Darry could plainly see the pain written on Dally's facial features. " He's dying and he knows it." He set his feet down and glared at his shoes.

" I know...there is nothing we can do about it, except be there for him. That includes you too" Soon as those words left my mouth, I knew I had said something wrong.

He rose to his feet stiffly and strutted away. I would have followed him, but knowing Dally, all he needs is alone time...and Johnny. Darry knew for a fact there was something a little more to Dally and Johnny's relationship, but it was not his place to interfere with it. He also decided to leave and head back home. As quickly as possible because in 45 minutes the Soc's would come out.

Running a couple blocks down, his house came into view. Quickly enough, he reached the front porch and opened the door. Inside all the lights were off, except the T.V. light which he could see lighting up the wall. While he hung up his jacket, Soda reached up behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Darry jolted violently and attempted to escape his 'captors' grip. Soda grin to himself silently as he watched Darry try to gain his composure. " Shouldn't you be in bed young man?" Darry attempted to give him a stern frown, but he could keep a straight face. Both burst out into laughter.

" No, I was waiting up for you. Johnny's gone to bed." Soda said while holding the sides of his stomach.

Darry just grin and ruffled his hair playfully. " Well git going." He shoved the other boy toward the room door that both Pony and Soda shared.

" Actually...I was...wondering if I could sleep in your bed...Don't ask me why, but I really feel lonely." Darry just stared with him mouth open. " Stop looking at me like that. You know I broke up with J, today." The was a tense silence, but Darry shook it off.

" Alright, just don't drool on me. Now git going." Soda quickly scurried of into the masters bedroom with glee.

Meanwhile in the other bedroom, Pony lay in his bed silently sobbing. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. _So is Soda better than me. I knew he never liked me. _He turned his light off and attempted to sleep, but failed.

**: To Be Continued : **

**

* * *

** Well there you go. Chapter 3. It is not the longest. Well it might be, but who cares. Anyways, I am taking into consideration about having a deeper relationship between darry and soda or soda and pony. Either one will do. So if you agree please write that on you review. Whew, the last time I updated was last year. . Man that sucks. Sorry that I did that to you guys. It must have pissed you off. Well no more worries. I will try to get an update on my 'A Wandering Soul' fic and the one 2 within the week. Thank you for all your great reviews and suggestions. I really appreciate it. R&R 

- Tame Lion. **: Author's Note/**


	4. What Becomes of Us?

**/Author Note:** Well hello folks. I again apologize for my long break. Which was um like 1-2 years long? O.O; I think 1. Haha lol I will start writing again, I got a bit distracted. But now I'm focusing all my attention on my fans. Love you guys! Also I might need to add, my knowledge of the outsiders has gotten dim, so if you see any errors, please email me and I will fix them! **End of Authors Note/  
**

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Title :** My Heart's Desire

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Author **: TameLion a.k.a. **MightyTameLion**

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Pairings **: Darry/Ponyboy, Dally/Johnny. Possible Soda/Darry

**  
Summary**: Slash. Just when things turn for the worst, the boys find something worth while to live for. or look forward too. Love.

**  
WARNING**:_ THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH, INCEST...I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SLASH IS, IT IS WHEN STORIES OUT OF REAL BOOKS OR MOVIES ARE WRITTEN AND SWITCHED AROUND TO THE WRITERS SATISFACTION AND IT CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL CONTENT BETWEEN CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS TWO BOYS HAVING HOT MONKEY SEX! SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ._

**  
DISCLAIMER** : Alright you all know the disclaimer. I do not, I repeat, DO NOT! Own 'The Outsiders' in any form. So if you sue me, your not getting anything, But just for your sake I'll send you a pair of my cousins skid marked underwear. Just for your cause

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**  
My Heart's Desire...is you **

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Chapter 4 : **What Becomes of Us?

**  
My Heart's Desire...is you **

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(**Darry's P.O.V. )**

Dally lay in his bed, much to his discomfort, not alone. He had been starring at the ceiling for some time. A prickle of irritation jolted through his body, the other person who laid beside him seemed determined not to let the him sleep. Darry fought the urge to briskly shove his brother from his bed and drag his carcass out of his room.

Sighing, he moved his head so he was facing his brother. Who, to bluntly put it, was passed out and drooling on his sleeve. His sneered slightly. To make matters worse, it seems that Soda unintentionally, or at least he hoped, was spooning him in his sleep. As an added bonus, his left hang was lingering a little too close to his crotch.

He turned to the wall and silently hoped he could fall asleep this night. So far in thought, he jumped a few inches of the bed when the door opened. A light creek could be heard through the silence. Darry lift his head up and glanced over his shoulder.

" Pony?" he whispered, trying not to wake Soda. There was a pause

" Sorry Darry, I just couldn't sleep..." with that said, he left the room and closed the door behind him. Darry frowned, his brother sounded a bit distressed. Deciding to deal with this in the morning, he pulled the covers over himself and closed his eyes.

Soda slowly opened one eye and directed his gaze to the door. So his theory was correct. Feeling a bit pleased with himself, he snuggles closer to his brother and slung his leg over the other. Quickly, he closed his eyes at the other twitched slightly.

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( Pony's P.O.V. )**

Pony shook slightly as he climbed into his blanket and placed it over his head. What he had seen was to much to bare. To much. His face felt hot and he couldn't ignore the stinging in his eyes as fresh tears clouded his sight. So Darry did prefer him over Pony. Otherwise why where they snuggled so close to each other. He longed to be in Pony's position right now.

He felt like a whore. Without thinking let Darry touch him like that. Maybe he was just a stress reliever. Its all his fault anyway, always bothering his older brother. He tried to stifle the on-coming sobs. Why couldn't he have a happy normal life? Where someone cared for him. He frowned at the thought. Now he was just being selfish. He had 2 brothers and friends who cared very much about him. But even that wasn't enough.

It wasn't the array of clothing he yearned for, or an augmenting amount of money. But love and passion, things that made even the most mizerable people on earth want to continue on with their lives. He wanted this...no, he needed this. And If Darry is willing to give this to him, he would have to find another. A few more sniffle's and sobs later, the teenager was fast asleep.

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**  
Morning at the Hospital**

The doctor pulled back the curtains and walked to the other side of the bed and pulled back the curtains. He ushered the nurses into the room and proceed in doing the daily check-up of his patient. They had taken the habit of doing the physicals while Johnny was asleep. It distressed him greatly to see or feel nothing from the procedures.

One of the nurses pulled back the light blanket and pulled the hospital garments to each side. The doctor placed a glove hand on Johnny's back and slowly felt the muscles of his back. There was no movement. He continued in the ministrations until he reach the back of his legs. The nurse to his left handed him a long stick. He place it in his palm and lightly taped the back of his leg. He continued to do that while gliding down the leg. They stopped. The calf muscle of their patients leg was twitching slightly. The doctors head shot up, and stared at both nurses, awestruck. Snapping out of his haze, the doctor repeated the procedure and ended up with the same outcome. It was then he decided to wake the patient.

Gently prodding the younger man, he waited till he was fully awaken to inform him of their new discovery.

" Doctor..?" Still in a sleepy haze

" Johnny, there is something very important that we must do. Just tell me if you feel anything?" Johnny frowned slightly, but waited patiently. The doctor once again repeated his procedure, but this time inquiring if Johnny had felt something. In the middle of the procedure, Johnny stop talking all together.

" Docter...I think I felt that. It tingles a little bit. " The Nurses shared a glanced and rushed off to the main headquarters. Meanwhile the doctor put down the instruments.

" Well this is most..surprising. Our staff of Doctors declared you to be paralyzed beyond repair. But I guess we were wrong. The nurses will alert your parents of your progress. But in the meantime, with your consent, I'd like to place you in rehabilitative therapy. If the possibility of feeling in your legs then maybe your whole body can be re-taught how to function. Do you agree? " Johnny was to shocked to respond vocally, he nodded stiffly. The doctor smiled at him and exited the room.

He had never needed Dally more than he needed him now...

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**  
Few Hours Later at Pony's**

Pony woke to being shaken like a rag doll. His eyes peeked open .

" Soda...GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" His older brother stopped and stared at him for a brief second. Then his features twisted into a smirk.

" Someone is grouchy. " Before Pony could respond, Darry bounded into the room with the telephone in hand.

" Guys... its Johnny...He... He's.."

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**  
Author's Note /** Well there you go, a little short. But I'm a bit tired. Had to clean the house for like 8 hrs. So how are my fans doing? Lol. You know I love you guys, and thank you for the reviews. Okay, I'm going to say this. I am not a doctor...so that whole scene. I don't know wtf I was doing. Ahahaha, so if your feeling up to correcting it. Don't bother. Um hmmm well I know some people have been wondering about a 3 some. But that would sooo destroy the whole story, so I'm going to make it more dramatic. Meanwhile, sorry. But Pony's gonna have to go celibate for a while. Haha I'm so evil. Love ya guys. Now **R&R**

Thanks to Reviewers of Chapter 3 :

Aseret Kitsune

Minami Ozaki Wannabe

Tehsylvania

dirtyd488

SuperHyperCrazyPerson

Johnnylover (lol ten thousand comments)

Momochi Zabuza

The Emcee

Inset Username Here

lostjackal

SanzoxGoku Lover

noelle22

theoutsidersluver

Kuramalovergirl

little jack frost (no I wont kill johnny. Thanks love)

Raveangel33

unamed

omnni

Soda's girl

Devin

Delores

Rugrats101

Mightytamelion

**: End of Authors Note**


	5. Family Business

/**Authors Note:** Ah, its been almost a year since I have treated my readers with something sweet. I thought in this chapter [redone, I would try to reduce the Ocness in the characters and make it more real. Also, add my improving skills in writing. Not quite there yet. Also, this is a special message to one of my reviews who is not satisfied with my story. All I have to say is, I can't take your criticism seriously when you're username has the word **whore** or **slut** in it. But thanks for the review bump. All right. Bai loves. : **End of Authors Note/**

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What is it that lies in a dormant heart? **

**  
Title : **My Heart's Desire

**  
Author : **TameLion a.k.a. MightyTameLion

**  
Pairing(s): **Dy/P, D/J , possible Dy/S

**  
Summary :** Slash. Just when things turn for the worst, the boys find something worthwhile to live for. Or look forward too. Love.

**  
WARNING :** _THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH, INCEST . . . I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SLASH IS, IT IS WHEN STORIES OUT OF REAL BOOKS OR MOVIES ARE WRITTEN AND SWITCHED AROUND TO THE WRITERS SATISFACTION AND IT CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL CONTENT BETWEEN CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS TWO BOYS HAVING HOT MONKEY SEX! SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ._

**  
Disclaimer : **All right you all know the disclaimer. I do not, I repeat, DO NOT! Own 'The Outsiders' in any form. So if you sue me, your not getting anything, But just for your sake I'll send you a pair of my cousin's skid marked underwear. Just for your cause

**

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Are you...my heart's desire **

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Chapter **5: Family Business

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Are you . . . my heart's desire **

**

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(Pony's P.O.V. )**

The moment Johnny's name left Darry's lips, my mind blanked out. Both Soda and I, stilled and waited for an explanation. At first, a few words came out of his mouth. But he quickly turned in the other direction and left. Quickly jumping of the bed, we followed Darry into the hallway and out into our front yard. There we got in the car, still in my pajamas and headed toward the hospital. No explanation was needed. I bit my fingers nervously, if something happened to Johnny I don't know what I'd do. I was caught in a web of thoughts, I failed to notice the concerned glances Darry gave me from the drivers seat.

By then we were in the parking area of the hospital. Quickly, we rushed into the rundown hospital. Checking at the desk and up to Johnny's floor. My feet were a bit sore from the gravel, but Johnny was much more important to me. I could at least use them . . .

We stopped at rusty blue dyed door...a room that locked both hope and fear. There was a timid knock. A few seconds passed and the door was open. The doctor greeted us. His expression was blank and that immediately made my heart drop. Inside, to the far corner was Johnny's bed and a few chairs positioned around it. One was currently being resided by Dally. We took to the closest chairs and sat down. There was an eerie silence.

" H-hey guys. " Johnny's voice cracked. He strenuously form a weak smile.

" Hey Johnny . . . What's this all about " Even though I was relieved to see him alive and breathing, there was obviously a reason the hospital called. At the very moment, who I presumed to by Johnny's doctor strutted into the room. Practically bouncing. Well...something like that

**  
A/N**: Don't exactly know the doctor's name? So if any of you guys do. PLS tell me so I can go back and change it. : **End A/N **

He nodded. " I am Dr. Rowe, Johnny's Doctor. You can all relax now. I didn't call you here to inform you of his demise. " He said, with a slight chuckle. Boy did Darry glare!. " Mmm yes. Anyways, this morning the nurses and I were performing a daily checkup and discovered something that you may find . . . Good news, if not hopeful news. The check requires us to use gentle exercises using stimulatio-"

" Get to the fucking point!" Lucky for us, Darry was brave enough to say if. If not rudely.

" Uh yes. Upon stimulating his leg muscles, we discovered a reaction. A small twitch in the calf muscle. Now this may not seem like much, but to someone who was told he would never walk again is a miracle. Now with your permission, " he nodded towards Johnny's parents." I would like to place Johnny in a rehabilitative program... " Timidly waiting for their response.

The couple turned to each other. A brief discussion transgressed between the two before they turned their attention to the doctor . Johnny's father was the first to speak." Mr. Rowe as much as we want to place him in the program. It's going to cost a lot of money and I don't think our insurance will cover that." If there was an award for the shittiest parents alive, they would win.

" I understand, but in the end wouldn't it be worth it?" With a little more coaxing they finally agreed to allow Johnny to go into the program. Meanwhile, the whole time Johnny was staring at the ceiling in silence. He sighed in relief.

* * *

We didn't stay too long. I don't want to sound like an ass, but the atmosphere Johnny's parents created put me off. I talked with him briefly, Dally did the same and then headed to the car. I waited for what seemed like hours ,but was really minutes for my brothers to emerge from the main door of the building. Both silently treaded towards the car in an angry silence. We got in and rode home. I shot brief curious glances at both. Strange. 

A sigh relief passed my lips as I landed face first into my bed. Shortly I feel asleep. What seemed like minutes later, I was awaken by Soda. He mumbled a few words. Dinner. That too was silent. Both of my brothers were deep in thought. Much to my dismay, were also ignoring me. I sighed dramatically. Causing both to look up from their dinners.

" What's wrong Pony? " Darry said.

I huffed. " It's not what's wrong with me, but what's wrong with you two? I mean, every since we left the hospital. You guys have been in lala land. " _and also ignoring me._ I know it was a childish though, but then again I haven't completely grown up yet.

Soda gave me a disbelieving look. As if he could read each word, sentence and paragraph that ran through my head. " We had a bit of an argument with Johnny's parents. After saying yes, the wanted to take it back. So Dally, Darry and I got on there case. Those son's of bitches don't give a rat's ass about Johnny. I just know it! " Darry placed a comforting hang on his shoulder. I know I shouldn't...but I was jealous.

" What Soda means is that is Johnny's going to get better now." They locked eyes for a second and turned to me. " So, don't worry about anything. Okay?" I nodded and dinner was finished in silence. Sometimes, I wonder what's wrong with. I feel things I shouldn't, things I don't want. I just feel...for my brother? After dinner, he situated himself in front of the tv. Both brothers disappeared. Soda was either moping around about an old flame and Darry...well. Who knows.

* * *

(Darry's P.O.V.) 

He ushered Soda into the room.

" We have to talk about last night...It can't happen again..."

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/AN : Well, that chapters done. Lets see what the next chapters have in store for our little boys. I hope you guys haven't lost interest. Send me a message if you must, sometimes I forget I have stories to finish. Thanks for your support. R & R : **END OF AN/**

**p.s.**

Thanks to all reviewers, even negatives.


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